Pirates III is Out

There are some people who would say to me, “James, being an extreme Pirates of the Caribbean fanboy, having eagerly awaited the conclusion of the trilogy for months, and having been one of the first to see the third movie (having gone at 12:01 AM on May 25th), do you feel that it has been worthy of the anticipation, lack of sleep, ten bucks, and “Pirates” name?

The people who ask these things don’t exist, but I’ll flatter myself and pretend that they do.

To these sorts of people, I shall reply:

(Spoiler. Mom, don’t cheat.)

No. No, it was not.

There are a million ways it could have gone better. For the following example:

  • Jack tricks Bootstrap Bill into stabbing the heart
  • The pagan goddess changes the rules
  • Davy Jones is the only one who can release aforementioned goddess
  • Forget about the freaking goddess. There was no good reason to have her in there.
  • Actual cheerfulness
  • Or, better yet, have someone stab the heart in Pirates II, wrap the whole story up there, and do something completely different and happy for Pirates III.

Gah. Disney, how could you do this to us?


5 Responses to “Pirates III is Out”

  1. 1 fophillips May 25, 2007 at 7:00 am

    Please tell me it was better than the second one…

  2. 2 Frugus May 28, 2007 at 1:55 pm

    No… It was not only much worse than the second, it was worse than any other pirate movie. It was worse than Spiderman three even.

  3. 3 Joanna June 5, 2007 at 11:24 pm

    Sadly. Nooooooo!

  4. 4 Caleb July 9, 2007 at 2:11 am

    I think most people would’ve been satisfied with Pirates 1 by itself. It’s kind of like The Matrix that way. The first one: awesome movie! The second one: good movie (or so I’ve heard about Reloaded). The third one: Dang, I wish I hadn’t seen that.

  5. 5 Victor Pencak July 11, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    No way! Pirates III was way better then pirates 2 and spider man 3.

Comments are currently closed.

RSS Status

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.


Creative Commons License
This stuff is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

%d bloggers like this: