I now know that my anonymous prank caller has been reading my blog! Taking my advice, they have improved upon the previous call immensely.
Here is a quick, probably rather inaccurate recap of the conversation.
Her: Hey, this is [name I didn’t catch], and this might seem kinda strange, but I saw your hootenanny skit, and I thought it was really clever, and you seem to know a lot about debate, so I was wondering if you wanted to meet up? I have some questions I wanted to ask you about it.
Me: Um, Ok. Yeah. This is totally not a prank call.
(I should have asked her for her full name so I could mock it like Strong Bad)
Her: No, it’s not. Really.
Me: You’re calling at 1 am.
Her: Am I? Oh, yeah, I guess it is. Sorry, I didn’t notice. Also, I’m kinda attracted to you.
Me: You’re attracted to me.
Her: Yes, I am!
Me: This is a prank call. Besides, check Facebook, I’m taken.
(I should have yelled “Denied” in my moderator voice and hung up.)
Her: Oh. But I still want to meet you! Can we talk?
Me: I guess. You can email me.
Her: Want to meet at MSC? There are people there, that wouldn’t be weird.
(At this point, I’m giving her the extremely tiny, minuscule benefit of a doubt against my better judgment. Perhaps she is simply insane, or really, really tactless. In any case, meeting a random stalker in broad daylight tomorrow can’t hurt. She does mean tomorrow, right?)
Her: Ok! I just got out of the shower, give me time to get dressed and I’ll be down there in 15 minutes.
Me: Can’t you just ask me the questions now?
Her: But I like to see facial expressions. The phone is so cold and impersonal, don’t you think?
(I am holding the volume-cranked headset away from my face. My roommate and I are laughing quite hardily.)
Me: Dot Dot Dot. No. This is a prank call. I’ve gotten like five within the past month. They all tell me to go down to MSC at either one or three AM.
Her: Really? That’s horrible! But I’m serious. Besides, this is at one fifteen, not one.
Me: (muffled laughter)
Her: Well, I’ll be down there anyway. I guess I’ll just wait for you for a while. You can come, I’ll wait anyway…
Me: I’ve enjoyed talking with you. Nice prank call, by the way.
Yes. This was totally not a ploy to make me walk to MSC in the freezing cold in the dead of night. At the end of this trek, I would find either (a) nothing. Or (b) a bunch of guys who would likely abduct me. Either way, it’s better to stay in the dorm. The calls are getting a lot more elaborate. This ranks high above the “This is maintenance, does your sink work?” call I got a few months ago.
So, if it’s the same person (or persons) pranking me, I now know they have a girl friend. During Hootenanny, there was a group of guys yelling “Turn the stage!” during several skits. I’m told that they yelled it during The Tree Skit, though I was too absorbed in the performance to hear it. This call might come from one of them. I do hope that they left the poor Cookie Skit girls alone. The cookie skitters suffered enough.
In any case, I give this call a four out of five stars. In addition to being rather humorous, my stalker paranoia level has been raised to “amber.” Well done!