How to reply to all email messages within 5 minutes, max!

Some guy wrote something about how to reply to every email in your inbox within twenty-four hours. As I read this, I thought "You know, he might be on to something. But… it seems like work… I mean, I don't even want to reply to half the emails I get every day."

And then, though the wonder of the human brain avoiding work, I formed a wonderful master plan to answer all of my emails with none of my actually doing anything. It goes something like this:

  1. Set up one of those automatic vacation message things. Assure the sender that you are hundreds of miles away from your inbox, free from the drudgery of responding to their piteous pleas.
  2. ???
  3. Profit!

While everyone else frantically tries to get your attention for numerous noble, time-wasting causes, you can focus on the more important things in life, like that neat sound Windows XP makes when you repeatedly plug in USB flash drives.

Seriously. How does it do that?

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